Here are several of the poems included in this book, ones that I feel best represent it as a whole. If you would like to read more, please contact me and I can arrange to send you a copy of this book or any others. Poetry of Sardonica is my first book of poetry, one which contains five volumes based on various themes. I wrote much of this book at fifteen, so the style and creativeness are more amateur than my later works, of course, but everyone has to start somewhere.

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ROMANTIC DEATH

eternally in space
how I long to see her face
the coolness seeps deep within

panic and frustration
an infinite nation
how it seems so small from here
days from the past
brighten the future
as reality and truth
become so near
wallow through darkness
and on through denial
these seeds are those
who spark fear
but in this place
departed from our ways
how it all becomes so clear
courage to leave
and faith to continue
I've done this all for you
my sorrow, my tears
my thoughts and my fears
how they all seem to renew

all of the fortunes
all of the outcomes
never had a chance
to take place
only me and my suit now
drifting past stars
chasing her timeless
through space

2/10/2001

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ROMANTIC DEATH II

a glimpse of her fades past my face
passed the glass, an open gate
her shadow near, sheds a tear
unwilling to sedate
feelings of urge, as we converge
our link’s been bound by fate
oxygen lost, fuel is low
dying at a steady rate

on a necklace intertwined
rings of steel that once were mine
on those rings
a symbol of pride
an emblem of valor
shown in her eyes
but what is it worth now
has all hope been lost
I found what I lacked
but death is the cost
remembering our words
the clarity of the sky
promises were heard
now we say good-bye

eternity lingers for contact
our color-filled faces turn blue
our outstretched hands retract
this vacuum inhales us through
time is constricted
our pupils fixated
on one another’s ailed face
what will we do now
no seconds to waste
I'll die by my one and only
my romantic death in space

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THE THEATER

waiting and remembering
the scarce times we have had
the times when I was zealous
and you were indifferent
like an actor behind the curtain
I watch your performance
flawless with precision
in living so self-sufficiently
I wait backstage for you
hoping this show will end
hoping that you need me
as much as you need them
I wait for you daily
the show never concludes
no thank you and goodnight
no intermissions or interludes
so I’ll continue to wait
inside this dark room
behind the black curtains
Forgotten by you

5/20/2002

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SOLITARY STARE

a quiet breath, a cold air
clammy hands, a vacant stare
the painful image of myself
as the mirror depicts my truth
I gasp in discontent
as I’ve failed myself again
I clench my fists with fear
in the labyrinth I’ve created
a chamber with no doors
no space for a breath
no light for the conception
that I’ll ever escape
this labyrinth I’ve created
inside of the mirror
pale skin, a hopeless gaze
closed eyes, this inner maze
the tragic image of myself
as the mirror devours truth

5/25/2002

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BLESSED BE UNCERTAINTY

certainty is finite
it comes and goes as it pleases
it never resides too long
comfortably in my mind
it begs me to let go of it
to risk and try and fail again
to learn and experience the new
to embrace the unknown
my stubbornness rejects this
it whines and complains
and needs this certainty
to savor my vanishing life
but I war with obstinacy
and combat each norm
to finally seize the day
the way it was meant to be
as I struggle to let go
of everything I know
and embrace this uncertainty
and all the gifts it gives to me

6/1/2003

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TIME'S TRICKERY

time has made a fool of me
he teased me with his trickery
and tested my own faith
for long I felt like this fool
whom time had relentlessly defeated
yet I held faith in thought
pursuing what was destined
I grabbed for my fortune
that cursed time had promised
and beat him relentlessly
till he gladly coughed it up
I took what was rightfully mine
I sewed this faith for her
and now she’s come to me
despite all of time’s trickery
I wish to give my heart
to the fortune of my life
to the destiny that I’ve received
for believing enough to try
I say so long to time
and his many foolish games
holding onto this precious fortune
my faithful heart attains

7/3/2003

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I WAIT FOR RECONSTRUCTION

the bottom of the cave
where I dwell in my creation
where I suffer to conceive
of the escape I wish to hide
rotting in these fragile ruins
I mean to slip and fall
and I will never leave behind
the beauty of being lost
the walls, they crumble around
blocking every exit
yet when exodus is timely
I turn my head away
believe in me, myself
that soon the time will come
when the walls will reconstruct
and light will be inevitable
soon I will discover
the vanity of my decision
to make my way out
while making my way down

8/7/2003


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